Have you ever asked yourself why you react the way you do in certain situations, or why something that feels small to others can feel enormous to you?
The answer often lies in your mental schemas — the internal maps your brain builds over time to help you make sense of the world. These schemas act like filters, shaping how you perceive and respond to everything around you.
Let’s walk through how these schemas form and how they influence your reality every single day.
Stage 1: Reality Begins as Unfiltered Information
Every second, the world bombards you with raw information — sights, sounds, smells, physical sensations, and more. This is objective reality, untouched by thoughts or beliefs. We absorb this data through our five senses, which serve as the gateways to the brain.
Stage 2: Your Brain Starts Building a Program
From infancy, your brain receives these sensory inputs as electrical impulses. But you’re not just passively receiving data — you’re also starting to interpret it.
Over time, based on repeated experiences, interactions with caregivers, social environments, and emotional reactions, your brain starts to build patterns. These patterns become your early mental programming.
Think of this stage as your internal software development phase. Every repeated experience — whether it’s safety, love, shame, rejection, or fear — lays down another line of code.
Stage 3: The Birth of Your Schema (Mindset)
Eventually, this programming evolves into a solidified mental framework — your schema or belief system.
A schema is like a mental shortcut. It tells your brain, “When this happens, here’s what it means.”
For example:
“If people raise their voice, I’m in danger.”
“I have to work hard to be loved.”
“I’m not good enough unless I’m perfect.”
These aren’t just thoughts — they’re deeply embedded automatic beliefs that influence how you interpret reality without even realizing it.
Stage 4: You Stop Seeing Reality — You See Through the Lens of Schema
Here’s the most important part:
When you experience the world today, you’re not seeing it as it truly is. You’re seeing it through the lens of your pre-existing schemas.
The same reality hits your five senses, but now, it’s interpreted based on your belief system. Your brain compares new input against what it already “knows” — and if the new input doesn’t fit your schema, it will often distort it to make it fit.
This creates what we call your perceived construct of reality — an altered version of the world shaped by your mindset.
Stage 5: Living in a Distorted Reality
When your schemas are inaccurate or limiting, they can cause you to misinterpret neutral or even positive experiences as negative or threatening.
This is where emotional struggles often begin:
You may feel anxious in safe situations.
You might see rejection where none exists.
You could sabotage healthy relationships because they don’t align with your belief that “I’m not lovable.”
The real tragedy? You’re not reacting to what’s happening — you’re reacting to what you believe is happening.
So, What Can You Do?
As a counsellor, my work involves helping clients identify, examine, and reshape their schemas. We use techniques like:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to challenge distorted thoughts
Schema Therapy to heal long-standing belief systems
Neurocognitive tools to rewire thought patterns
The goal isn’t to erase your schemas — it’s to update them so they reflect your current truth, not your past pain.
